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From Pedestals to Reality - Embracing People as They Truly are

We all have people we admire, celebrities, mentors, teachers, friends, or even romantic partners. We see them as flawless, extraordinary, and almost superhuman. But what happens when we place them so high on a pedestal that we lose sight of their humanity? More importantly, how do we bring them down from that pedestal while still respecting and appreciating them?


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Putting someone on a pedestal means seeing them as superior, often ignoring their flaws and mistakes. While admiration can be healthy, excessive idolization can lead to disappointment, self-doubt, and unhealthy power dynamics. We expect the individual to be perfect, and when they show human flaws, it can feel like betrayal. This can be especially damaging in personal relationships, where we assume the other person can do no wrong. The reality is that nobody is perfect, and setting someone up as an ideal creates an unattainable standard that they cannot maintain.


When we place people above us, we naturally see ourselves as "less than." This can damage our confidence and self-esteem, making us feel inadequate in comparison. Instead of seeing ourselves as equals, we might start to believe that their achievements, talents, or personality traits are unattainable. Idolization can blind us to toxic behaviors, especially in relationships. When we refuse to see someone’s flaws, we may excuse behaviors that we wouldn’t tolerate in others. This is common in romantic relationships, friendships, and professional settings where power dynamics are at play. At some point, the illusion of perfection will shatter. When we finally see the flaws in someone we’ve idolized, it can lead to bitterness or loss of trust. Instead of accepting them as human, we may swing to the opposite extreme—seeing them as completely flawed and undeserving of admiration at all.


It’s natural to admire people who inspire us, but putting them on a pedestal can create unrealistic expectations—for both them and ourselves. The goal isn’t to devalue anyone but to see them as they truly are—complex, imperfect, and human. One of the first steps in doing this is recognizing their humanity. Everyone, no matter how successful, has insecurities, makes mistakes, and experiences struggles. Even those we look up to have bad days, doubts, and failures. Acknowledging this helps us connect with them on a more genuine level rather than seeing them as flawless figures. Shifting our perspective is also important.Rather than seeing someone as unreachable, we can appreciate them as a source of inspiration while recognizing that, like us, they have faced their own challenges. Recognizing their struggles allows us to appreciate their resilience rather than just idolizing their success. It’s also helpful to question our beliefs. Why do we admire this person so much? Is it because of a quality we wish we had? If so, can we cultivate that quality within ourselves rather than relying on them as a source of validation? Often, what we admire in others reflects the traits we want to develop in ourselves.


Another way to balance our admiration is by observing objectively. Taking a step back and assessing their actions without bias can help us see them as they truly are. Seeing people more clearly allows us to appreciate them without idealization. At the same time, focusing on our own growth is crucial. Instead of placing someone above ourselves, we can work on strengthening our own skills, confidence, and self-worth. True admiration should inspire us, not make us feel lesser. If idolization has led to an unbalanced dynamic, setting healthy boundaries is key. Whether it’s a mentor, friend, or partner, relationships should be built on mutual respect rather than worship. Lastly, separating a person from their achievements helps us see them for who they are, beyond their success. Everyone has flaws and emotions, and embracing this perspective allows for more genuine connections.


Understanding why we put people on pedestals can help us break the habit. Many of us idolize others due to deep-seated psychological reasons:


● Lack of Self-Esteem: When we don’t believe in ourselves, we may look to others as superior beings who have everything figured out.

● Unmet Needs: Sometimes, idolization stems from childhood experiences where we lacked guidance or role models.

● Desire for Certainty: Life is uncertain, and having someone to look up to gives us a sense of stability and direction.

By addressing these underlying reasons, we can develop a healthier perspective on admiration.


Appreciation and idolization may seem similar, but they are fundamentally different. It’s possible to admire someone without losing perspective. One way to do this is by acknowledging both their strengths and weaknesses. Recognizing the full picture allows us to appreciate people for who they truly are, rather than an idealized version of them. It’s also important to find your own voice. While learning from others is valuable, trusting your own intuition and forming independent opinions helps maintain a balanced perspective. Cultivating self-compassion is another key factor. When we value ourselves, we are less likely to feel the need to elevate others to an unrealistic status. Finally, learning from multiple sources rather than fixating on just one person ensures a well-rounded approach to growth and inspiration. By embracing these principles, we can admire others in a healthy way while staying grounded in our own worth.


Admiring people is natural, but idolizing them can be harmful—to them, to you, and to your relationships. Bringing someone down from a pedestal doesn’t mean disrespecting them; it means seeing them clearly. The more we embrace people’s humanity, the more we can appreciate them for who they truly are, not just who we imagine them to be.


By shifting our mindset from idolization to appreciation, we can build healthier relationships, boost our self-confidence, and create a more balanced view of the world. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and that’s what makes us all human. Let’s celebrate that instead of chasing perfection that doesn’t exist.

 

Written by: Neharika Chhabria



July, 2025

 
 
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