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The Psychology Of War: Indo-Pak Tensions & the Mental Health Of Soldiers and their Families

As India and Pakistan once again find themselves locked in a cycle of military conflict, the spotlight often remains on strategy, diplomacy, and national defense. But beneath the surface, away from the cameras and political speeches, is a much quieter battle - a psychological one- waged daily by the men and women in uniform, and by the families who wait anxiously for their return. Soldiers are the front-line defenders of national security, yet their emotional and psychological wellbeing is often left in the shadows. War does not only take a toll on the battlefield; it deeply scars minds, disrupts families, and forever alters the emotional landscape of those who serve and those who love them.


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For soldiers, the experience of active combat or even readiness for war involves immense psychological strain. They are trained to remain composed under extreme pressure, but no training can eliminate the human mind’s natural responses to fear, danger, and death. The unpredictability of conflict, the constant state of alertness, and the knowledge that life could be lost at any moment create a sense of hypervigilance that doesn’t fade even when the immediate threat is gone. In war zones, where every sound could signal danger, sleep is fragmented and shallow. The mind remains wired for survival, often long after returning from the field, and this constant mental tension can lead to long-term consequences like anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and emotional numbness.


The burden becomes even heavier when soldiers witness the deaths of comrades, or when they are forced to make life-and-death decisions that conflict with their own moral compass. This kind of internal conflict, known as moral injury, is a deep psychological wound that goes beyond fear—it cuts into a soldier’s sense of identity and values. They may survive the war physically, but inside, they are often battling guilt, grief, or helplessness. In the face of national pride and duty, admitting to psychological distress can feel like weakness, causing many soldiers to suffer in silence. The culture of toughness in military environments often discourages vulnerability, making it harder for those struggling to seek help or speak openly about their emotions.


While soldiers endure the direct pressures of conflict, their families live in a different but equally intense emotional reality. Wives, parents, and children of deployed soldiers carry a persistent weight of uncertainty. Every phone call is both a relief and a reminder of how fragile peace is. Each news update about cross-border violence triggers a wave of dread. Waiting becomes its own form of emotional torture—waiting for a message, for safe return, or for answers when communication is cut off. Children may not always understand the complexities of war, but they sense absence and fear. Many grow up with long periods without a parent, which affects their emotional development and creates gaps in bonding that are hard to mend.


The families of soldiers must often maintain a facade of strength for the sake of social expectations, even as they deal with deep emotional pain. Spouses shoulder full responsibility for households, manage the needs of children, and deal with their own loneliness. They may feel pride in their partner’s service, but also isolation and a fear that is rarely voiced. The inability to openly grieve, complain, or even acknowledge anxiety leads to internalized stress. Over time, this can manifest in the form of chronic worry, depression, and physical health problems. Mental health care for military families is still not given the attention it deserves, and many are left to cope alone, with few resources and even fewer safe spaces to talk about their emotional struggles.


When a soldier returns home after deployment, the assumption is often that the worst is over. However, this transition brings its own psychological challenges. Reintegrating into family life is not always smooth. A soldier who has spent months or years in a high-alert combat mindset cannot simply switch off that intensity. They may struggle to connect with loved ones, express emotions, or participate in normal daily activities. Nightmares, flashbacks, and irritability can strain relationships. Family members may not understand the changes in personality and behavior, which can lead to conflict or emotional distance. It is not uncommon for soldiers to feel like strangers in their own homes, and for spouses to feel helpless in trying to support them.


In the current climate of Indo-Pak conflict, the emotional tension is even higher. The fast spread of war news and pictures makes the mental stress even worse. Social media and constant news updates create an environment of heightened alertness not just for soldiers, but for their families too. Personal anxiety spills into the public sphere, blurring the distinction. A mother watching the news of a cross-border strike is not thinking politically—she is thinking about her son who is stationed nearby. A child seeing images of bombings may begin to associate uniformed men with danger and loss, rather than safety. The emotional climate of war permeates domestic spaces, affecting mental health in ways that last far beyond the end of military operations.


Despite these challenges, the resilience of soldiers and their families cannot be underestimated. Many find strength through connection, discipline, and a deep sense of purpose. Some draw on religious or spiritual practices, others rely on the strength of their communities or support from fellow military families. But resilience should not mean silent suffering. Acknowledging the psychological wounds of war is not a sign of weakness—it is a step toward healing, reflecting, growing and learning. Mental health support should be embedded within military systems, not treated as an afterthought. Counseling services, trauma-informed care, and long-term emotional support must be made accessible to both active duty soldiers and their families.


In the end, the true cost of conflict isn't just found in the headlines or marked on maps—it resides quietly in the minds of soldiers and in the sorrow of those who anxiously await their return. A truly strong nation is not one that only arms its military, but one that also protects the emotional wellbeing of those who serve and sacrifice. As India and Pakistan continue to navigate their complex relationship, it is vital that the mental health of soldiers and their families is not overlooked. Behind every uniform is a human being, and behind every deployed soldier is a family carrying an invisible weight. Their psychological battles are just as real—and just as important—as those fought with weapons.



Written by: Neharika Chhabria



May, 2025

 
 
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